can't express my feelings!

I'm at home sitting in the livingroom thinking about everything what has happend in my life and I can't write about it I don't wanna talk about it! Why everyone is pushing me to contact a therapist to start talking about everything? Don't you just get in I wanna live my life my way without talking about my problems! It's everything around me my parent's my own life I hate it all this moment!!! I can't do this anymore but I don't wanna talk cause there are some stuff I don't wanna remember anymore....Life is hard and difficult but I guess some day it will be alright!
but now I dont know what to write anymore! i have so many stuff on my mind that I can't express in words!